can someone please help me with my diversity essay for college admissions.?
hello I need help my college admissions essay. i have so many things to say but i have a 30 limit and at the same time I don't know how to put it together. please someone help me edit my essay give me suggestions and ideas to improve my essay. topic:As part of our mission to provide students with a liberal arts education, Georgia College & State University strives to create an atmosphere that instills in students exceptional qualities of mind and character including respect for human diversity and individuality. Viewing diversity as the characteristic of being different from those around you, please tell us how you feel you can contribute to the overall student body of Georgia College. You are encouraged to think past traditional conceptions of diversity such as race and gender. Including examples and situations that have molded you into the person you currently are is encouraged. Diversity does not have to be measured only by social class, race, or color of skin. Diversity has a greater meaning. It’s about who you really are, about people who bring new ideas, new perspectives, new passions, new talents, who are open minded ready to accept others and make a difference. Diversity is a way to express ones feelings, ideals, emotions, is a way to contribute to society with one’s uniqueness. I consider myself diverse not just by my race and culture but by my love of learning and aspirations to make a difference. One way that I help other people is by doing community service. Every summer I have been involved in some sort of community service either at my church, daycare or at a hospital. Each experience has given the opportunity to experience diversity. An experience that has really touched me has been volunteering in a hospital; in Colombia. This experience left me with a better appreciation of life and with a commitment to help those in need. I want to able to travel around the world and help as many people as I can. The Colombian experience really opened my eyes and helped me understand how fortunate I am. I have always done everything possible to help others reach their goals as well as my own, and I have learned never to be brought down by people, words, or circumstances. I’ve always strived for the best in me. Though I’ve endured many hardships the desire to never give up keeps me going. This is an attribute that I plan to bring to Georgia College and State University. I know how it feels to be a new student and how important it is to have integrity with classmates. I know the hardships one may encounter being new and I’m willing to help my future classmates and peers as well as to share my culture and expand my knowledge. i meant 300 words
Higher Education (University +) - 1 Answers
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um, sorry - "30 limit" means what exactly? because you're over both 30 words and 30 characters, and it definitely can't be 30 pages... i applied this year i think you could try varying your sentence structure? in the first 4 sentences, 3 sentences start with 'diversity.' and since i'm not sure about the limit, i don't know how much over you are... also, i think you use both 'you' and 'one,' and i think you should choose one of the two words and not switch between second and third person
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