Friday, March 28, 2014
How can I get my gay boyfriend back after all I've done!?
How can I get my gay boyfriend back after all I've done!?
Here is my story, I am a white guy, 25 years old from LA, I am gay and since I am rather a good looking guy temptation was always there and it was just so easy to cheat.... The problem is that I was in a relationship with this foreign exchange student from Columbia, this guy left everything for me, he didn't even return to his country just so he could stay with me..... he loved me a lot and I took him for granted, yes I loved him but I just couldn't stop partying and cheating with other guys. He used to suffer a lot because he wanted something serious, something stable, not the typical gay relationship where promiscuity is the norm! I became infected with HPV (genital warts) from this surfer dude I was dating while in the relationship with my boyfriend and infected my boyfriend..... this was the drop that filled the cup, he sent me to hell and very heart broken went back to columbia, he promised to never come back to the states because he wanted to stay away from me. at the time, I was like whatever..... two years have passed and honestly I CAN NOT... I repeat, I CAN NOT forget him... I think about him everyday and I wonder what he's doing, or where he is now... I eventually found him on facebook and created a fake profile so I could see his pictures and be on his friend's list, when I saw his pic I felt like I would die without him, honestly I don't give a damn about this useless dudes around here..... this columbian dude made feel something I never felt... the emotions, the deep feelings, the amazing moments he gave me I can not get from any one else time have passed and he is now in colombia, apparently happy I had the courage to tell him that I am that fake profile who added him and I can not forget him, when I was telling him this I broke up in tears and he told me it's all forgotten and in the past, he told me I am a bit late and he suffered a lot, however he had no grudges against me, but the whole gay promiscuous relationship is just not him..... I told him I am not doing it anymore I was dumb and didn't know what I had until I lost it and his reply was that he feels honored but honestly he rather put all this in the past and move on in life as he doesn't have any more feelings for me after two years of crying. I feel like I lost the best thing I had! I keep meeting guys but they suck, they have no soul, no spice, they lack the passion he had, the connection I had with him. Any tips on how to get him back? should I just forget about him? I am becoming obsessed with him.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 15 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
In my opinion, you should leave him alone. Wish him well, stay in touch with him online only, tell him "happy birthday" when its his birthday, etc, but other than that, leave him alone. Your obsession sounds like it is coming from a narcissistic place - wanting what you know you cannot have. You should probably talk to a professional about why you want him so much. There are lots of other guys here in the states who want stable monogamous relationships, but you have yourself convinced that there are not.
2 :
Each time you feel that, grab a hammer and hit your bells. Eventually, that will help you Are you going to write that novel ?
3 :
guy, you might as well suck it up, learn from your mistake, and move on..there is no way that he is going to open up that womb again.we all make mistakes in life, and think we don;t end up paying, even thought he forgave you, and he is a real man to do that, he moved on. remember the good times, and what he stood for, and try to lift yourself up to that level in the next relationship//that one has expired! sorry to say..it will make you a better person..let the guy live his life.you owe him that much
4 :
Well, emm, I was raised in colombia, and where we come from things like that would get you killed or at least in the hospital. I think that you completly blew it, and just be friends with him, because you already hurt him too much and you just can't fix it by loving him. What's done is done, move on and leave him alone
5 :
Well, it is very bad what you did.. In your case, it's like you never knew what you had until you lost it. It's kinda tricky, but if you really want him back maybe you should keep on telling him how much you miss him. Be completely sure that the whole promiscuous thing is over.. If you get back with him and start sleeping around again, you will probably be out of chances. Be sure, tell him that you're done and that you only want him. Ask him if he still has feelings for you. Express your feelings for him.. Maybe you're lucky. But a thing like that is very hard to get over. Perhaps he hasn't forgotten it completely yet. Cheating is bad.. But you could still try.
6 :
please forget that guy he's a she and that you should never forget . Forget and cut that feeling lest you fall on the wrong lane. We do not curse him we just let him go... the way he wanted to be ... put that unnecessary feeling now . Stand up and be as a woman as you are that deserved a man... a man.... like.... Me. uhum...pls.
7 :
Lovely diatribe, and a nice work of fiction. In your other posts, you claim to be 32 years old, and another you stated that you have lived with a women for 2 and a half years. Nice try....
8 :
Time to let go and move on with your life. You had your chance with him and blew it. He has told you that he has moved on and made a life for himself, so get over him. As the saying goes you don't know what you got til it's gone.
9 :
If the facts you related are real then long story short: No. Let go. Cherish the memory and move along. I have similar tales in my life and I've learned that once he leaves its over. He might still be friendly but never companion again.
10 :
OK well. I agree with what your ex said and did. You knew he was suffering and wouldn't change your ways then and it pushed him over the edge. Now, you must face the consequence and move on because quite truthfully it doesn't sound like he's coming back. Two years to run after someone is enough time for them to move on and become happy again. You're not getting him back because of what YOU did and how you wouldn't do what (in my opinion) is an important role in relationships: sacrifice. Learn from your mistakes and move on, he did with you.
11 :
People never learn until they actually experience something. Just treat this as a life lesson to prevent the same thing from happening in the future. In times, you'll meet someone else who will make you feel special all over again; and when that happens, you already know what to do, not like the first one. As he said, it was the past, let it go, move on. If he found the courage to get through it when he was more hurt than you, then you can too.
12 :
you suck at telling jokes im just kidding, i really just don't know what say but feel like i really should say SOMETHING
13 :
You payed him wrong... You not only cheated on him but gave him warts, thank the good lord it wasn't something worse. You should take time off and think about what you want in life. Living a promiscuous unsafe lifestyle or having a normal happy life with someone you love.
14 :
Yeah. You should probably move on. First of all, you cannot make the person that have no feelings for you to love you again. Second of all, your obsession with him only is going to discourage him further away from you. Third of all, you are too late. Two years after...I mean, gosh. Should have thought about it earlier. ANyway, if you really want him, ask him once more for the last time. IF he doesn't show any interest, forget about making plans again and drop it. However, you still can be friends with him if you want.
15 :
It sounds like you are deeply in love with him, and he is not in love with you, anymore. It might sound crazy, but you have got to talk to him one last time before completely cut off the relationship. Why don't you ask him to web chat with you, or better yet, take a trip to Columbia. Then you can tell him your feeling, but it must not be all about what YOU need; what YOU want. It must be about how he feels about you. If he still have feeling about you, then ask him if he would willing to give you one more try. If he doesn't, then you must move on. It will hard, cold, lonely, and sad. Tears will always fall when the thought of him come up. But that's life. Do know that a soul mate is very hard to find, but a boyfriend is a dime a dozen. But who knows, hopefully he will give you one more try.
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